INT. LIQUOR STORE - EVENING
A CUSTOMER walks into a liquor store with an overwhelmed look on his face. He picks up a random bottle and reads the label. A LIQUOR STORE EMPLOYEE approaches. He looks professional and ready to serve.
LIQUOR STORE EMPLOYEE
Can I help you?
The customer pauses for a moment.
CUSTOMER
Um, I’m looking for a whisky. It’s for my friend’s 50th birthday.
LIQUOR STORE EMPLOYEE
No problem, I can totally help you with that. What do they like?
CUSTOMER
He drinks scotch.
LIQUOR STORE EMPLOYEE
(pointing at a trio of whiskies)
These are all great options.
The customer carefully examines all 3. One of them looks like a white wine.
CUSTOMER
(pointing at the light-coloured bottle)
Why is that one so light?
LIQUOR STORE EMPLOYEE
That one’s naturally coloured.
CUSTOMER
Oh.
The liquor store employee sees another customer in need of assistance.
LIQUOR STORE EMPLOYEE
Do you mind if I help that customer over there?
CUSTOMER
No, go right ahead.
The customer carefully examines all three bottles, and chooses the one that looks the darkest.
E150a is the name of a caramel colourant used by (some but not all) distilleries in Scotland to make sure their products look the same batch after batch. Canada, Japan, and Ireland are also allowed to colour their whiskies. Bourbon fans need not worry. Adding colour to bourbon or straight American whiskies is strictly forbidden. Product consistency aside, distilleries also colour because it’s an easy way to dupe non-discerning customers into thinking a product has more flavour than its lighter-looking counterparts. I think coloured whiskies are tacky. They all look like they were finished in a vat of Coppertone bronzer. Perennial punching bag (in my work) Diageo loves to colour their whiskies (even the ones they put in dark bottles). Among them is a peated whisky that’s the backbone of the most popular scotch brand in the world.
Caol Ila churns out millions of litres of spirit each year. More than 30% of the juice that’s distilled on Islay comes from Caol Ila. Just like the consigliere in The Godfather, Caol Ila has one major client, Johnnie Walker (most notably Black Label and Double Black). Caol Ila drinks a fair bit lighter than most of the stuff you’ll find on Islay. They fill their stills way below capacity to induce reflux. Reflux happens when you get increased copper contact. The greater the contact, the lighter your spirit is going to be. Caol Ila also cuts high. High cut whiskies tend to be light and fruity (I’m over-simplifying things, but that’s the general idea). Caol Ila 12 is a great option for people interested in exploring peat for the first time. The smoke is subdued, like sitting on a beach at night while a bonfire burns in the distance. Caol Ila 12 also doesn’t look like it fell asleep in a tanning bed.
Happy dramming,
Ryan